Wednesday, May 06, 2009

A message for Vocations' Sunday

Charles Randall (resident at Newman Hosue 2000-1) tells the story of his conversation with God, and offers some good advice to anyone in the process of discerning their vocation.
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Sharing my vocation story is becoming quite a feature of my life at the moment! Earlier in the week I was asked to share with a group of young offenders why I have decided to put myself forward for the Catholic priesthood, and now I have been given the opportunity to write a short piece for the Newman House blog. At present, I am working as a chaplaincy volunteer at a young offenders institute, having left my career behind at Christmastime in order to put myself forward as a postulant with a religious order in September. It is my hope here to help someone else who might be asking themselves whether or not God is calling them to the priesthood or religious life.
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In my own experience, it was the persistence of the idea of priesthood in my own thoughts which not only encouraged me to explore how I might become a priest, but ultimately presented me with a choice: Live indefinitely with this persistent idea (which at first I was able to suppress and then evade, but which gradually became near to all-consuming), or put the idea to the test. Some priests I have spoken to wanted to be priests from an early age. I didn't. When I first saw that I might be called to the priesthood, I was not pleased about it. I think I said out loud “I'll do anything, BUT THAT.” Almost ten years later, I now embrace the priesthood as my vocation if that is God's will.
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If you feel called to the priesthood or religious life, it may be that the thought of embracing that calling repels you, or fills you with anxiety, resignation or apprehension, or with deep peace or great joy. Certainly in my own case I had to wait until my own feelings tended towards the latter end of that spectrum before I put the vocation to the test! Testing a vocation with no accompanying spiritual consolation whatsoever would be a senseless exercise. Likewise by no means is it necessary to feel absolute certainty before putting your head above the parapet. Doing something about a vocation will involve an investment of time, energy and prayer.
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My case may be extreme, but it took me nine years before I finally felt the time was ripe for me to tell my family what I hoped to do, and then my parish priest. My family, friends and colleagues have all supported and affirmed me on my path without exception, although I recognize that by the time I was ready to share my news with them, I could have come through rejection had I met with it; I would not have had the emotional resources to deal with it earlier along the way. For this reason I would advocate caution in who you share your thoughts with in the early stages of discernment of a priestly or religious vocation. Whilst all vocations will ultimately and rightly be about God, you, and others, in the early stages of discernment, it will be right for you and God to share with each other first. Then it will be right for you to receive guidance and support from people whose vocation it transpires is to help you on your journey!
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I would encourage you, if you think you may have a vocation to the priesthood or religious life, when you are ready, to seek out guidance. When I shared my thoughts with my parish priest, he advised me to make a retreat, and to seek out a spiritual director. I do not know if this is the standard procedure, but it has been right for me. I went to my parish priest to share my thoughts, in confidence, because I trusted him to advise me as to the best way forward. Find someone who you trust, whether a priest, religious, or prayerful lay person, whom you know could advise you pastorally and practically as to your vocation and the next steps. My parish priest had someone in mind to be my spiritual director, to prepare me and guide me during my discernment, to help me deepen my prayer life, and to suggest retreats, pilgrimages and 'come and see weekends' with religious orders and at seminaries.
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In a practical sense, having not yet entered formal training for the priesthood, I am at the beginning of my journey. Though my personal discernment began a while ago, now the Church will be discerning with me. I now hope the road leads to priesthood, but even then ordination will be yet another beginning, in the same sense that a marriage celebration is a beginning: a moment especially graced, but with a prelude of courtship and a lifetime of living to follow. Sacramental mile-stones such as ordination or marriage are special springboards, to be looked forward to with great joy, but they are not 'the moment when my life will really get off the ground.' What I am inviting you to consider is that, whether God is calling you to priesthood, the religious or married life, or to lay single-hood, your vocation journey has begun. In fact, you are right in the thick of it now!